Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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