so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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