just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
