Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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