So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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