dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
