you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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