Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
