She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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