I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Randomize
