she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
