is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
