fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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