I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
