Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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