you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i believe in u and ur pee
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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