i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
