I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
