Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
