I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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