I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
