Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
