it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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