how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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