DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
