Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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