i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
