How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
