508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
