I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
soo... how was my night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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