oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
now i know why i became what i already was.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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