I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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