dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
