I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize