What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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