ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
