I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
