Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
