You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
