Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
