Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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