Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have feelings that need drinking.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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