i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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