Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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