yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
