Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
