And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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