1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Green mimosas i think yes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
