I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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