when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
