Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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