East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
