I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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