i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
