WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
