Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
