When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
