Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
