True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Mom said you looked used
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
