sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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