Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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