I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just google imaged poop.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
