Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
