Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
