That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
