i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
