All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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