I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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