I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
