I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
